Coping Bags: How to Build a Better Day

A couple of well-loved Coping Bags.

Origins of the Coping Bag

Last January, I had a major flare-up in my Long Covid symptoms. After spending several weeks miserable in bed, my mental health started to decline. Through the intense cognitive fog, I couldn’t remember all of the positive coping mechanisms I had worked so hard to develop to care for myself.

I asked my therapist if she had any ideas. She suggested setting aside a box with some special items to pull out on the worst days–a soft blanket, a book of puzzles, etc.

I took the concept and ran with it. Rather than making a single box, I decided I would make a little bag for each day, with different contents depending on the severity of my symptoms. That way, I could have something to look forward to every morning.

What made the coping bags special, more so than a regular care package, was that I included coping slips—pieces of paper suggesting different Long-COVID-friendly activities to pass the hours, stay engaged, and connect. It wasn’t about the stuff; it was about the care I could give myself during such a difficult time.

The coping bags helped me through some of my worst months, during which I couldn’t leave the house or often my bed. Once my symptoms improved enough that I could cope on my own, I set them aside.

This winter, my symptoms are once again becoming worse. I have been walloped by fatigue and PEM. My Seasonal Affective Disorder has reared its ugly head.

A week ago, I pulled out my box of supplies and started making my coping bags again. The relief I felt was instant.

So, I wanted to share how I make my coping bags in case anybody else is having a similar experience and thinks something like this might bring a little light and structure to otherwise dreary days.

But first, a few questions.

When should I use a coping bag?

A coping bag can be used in response to physical symptoms, cognitive symptoms, mental health symptoms, or external stressors.

When should I NOT use a coping bag?

As someone with a major mental illness, I know that a bubble bath isn’t going to cure my depressive episode. If you are really struggling with your mental health, it is important to get professional support. If you are in the US, call 988 for help in a mental health crisis.

Who should make coping bags?

Truly anybody! We all have bad days, even those without a chronic illness. Having something to pull out when you are feeling down is a great way to interrupt cycles of rumination and cut through cognitive fog.

When should I make my coping bags?

Make your coping bags ahead of time when you have a little extra energy. It is best to make several at once.

Who should make my coping bags?

You can prepare your coping bags on your own or ask a loved one to make them for you.

What do you put in a coping bag?

Anything you want! A coping bag should be personalized to your particular needs and tastes. I put both physical items and coping slips into my bags. Here are some examples of each:

Physical Items:

Note: For ethical/sustainability reasons, I highly suggest shopping at (or ordering pickup or delivery) from a local store when buying physical items. If you want to shop more ethically online, this article suggests some alternatives to Amazon. However, the limitations of chronic illness sometimes mean we don’t have the luxury of ethical consumption. I won’t pretend Prime packages don’t show up on my doorstep. I have tried to link these items to smaller (but still affordable) companies, but I won’t judge you if you want to get everything from the same source for convenience, cost, or packaging reasons.

Things to Eat and Drink

• Mints

• Gin-gins (my favorite)

• Snacks

• Chocolate or candy

• Tea

Spa Day Supplies

• Epsom salts

• Essential oils

• Bubble bath or bath bomb

• Nail polish

• Face mask

• Body scrub

• Lotion

• Candles

Oracle or Tarot Cards

Note: Whether or not you believe in mystical forces, using an Oracle or Tarot deck can give you ideas for reflection and framing your day. Plus, they often include beautiful artwork that is lovely to look at. Here are four decks I use:

• Earthcraft Oracle

• The Nap Ministry Rest Deck

• Animal Spirit Tarot

• Green Witch Oracle

Sensory Toys and Treats

• Fidgets

• Slime

• Head scratchers

• Plushie

• Fuzzy socks

• Other sensory objects

This and That

• Rocks or crystals

• Stickers

• Temporary Tattoos

• Books of puzzles, sudoku, word games

• Art supplies

Coping Slips

The second component of a coping bag is coping slips. Make a list of ideas on a piece of paper and cut them into strips. Then, randomly distribute them into the bags. In my bags, I include grounding activities, creative activities, sensory activities, miscellaneous activities, music recommendations, movie/TV recommendations, and notes to self. Here are examples:

Grounding Activities

• Sit in the sun

• Take a bath

• Do a guided meditation

• Do a breathing exercise

• Do yoga

• Do Tai Chi

• Stretch

• Self-massage

• Put your feet in the dirt

• Hug a tree

• Hold onto a stick or rock

• Sit in silence

• Scream into a pillow

Creative Activities

• Knit or Crochet

• Write a poem

• Make up a story

• Draw an animal

• Draw a landscape

• Draw something abstract

• Draw with colored pencil

• Draw with markers

• Learn a Zentangle design

• Watercolor

• Paint with acrylics

• Sew or embroider

• Play an instrument

• Sing along to a song

• Write in a journal

• Read a book

• Whittle

• Create a graphic design

Sensory Activities

• Sense of touch

  • Play with a sensory toy

  • Get under a soft blanket

  • Give someone a long hug

• Sense of taste

  • Eat something delicious

  • Eat something that will make your body happy

  • Eat something spicy

• Sense of smell

  • Smell an essential oil

  • Put on a scented lotion

  • Go outside and notice what you smell

• Sense of hearing

  • Listen to an audiobook

  • Record a voice note and play it back

  • Call a friend

• Sense of sight

  • Look at a beautiful piece of artwork

  • Pick up an object and observe it thoroughly

  • Look out of a window

Miscellaneous Activities

• Tell someone you love them

• Ask someone how they are doing

• Tell someone how you are doing

• Text with a friend

• Play with a pet

• Write a list of affirmations

• Write a letter to a friend

• Write a letter to yourself

• Read something educational/learn something new

• Learn a new joke

• Cuddle

• Read a children’s book

• Read an old journal

• Take a personality test

• Write a list of things you are grateful for

• Do a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or Dialectical Behavioral Therapy worksheet

• Look at houses on Zillow

• Daydream about the future

• Watch stand-up comedy

• Make plans

• Do something that makes you cry

• Take a nap

• Exfoliate your skin

• Play a card game, word game, or board game online or at home

• Pick something from this list from the American Psychological Association

• Pick something from this Dialectical Behavioral Therapy list

• Pick something from this list of self care ideas

Music Suggestions

Here are a few from Spotify playlists for inspiration:

• Mood Booster

• Calming Acoustic

• Feel Good Beats

• Folk and Friends

• Retro Soul

• Sad Bops

• Viva Latino

Movie, TV, and Reading Suggestions

Comforting and easy shows, movies, and books are great options on a bad day.

• A list of 150 feel-good movies from Rotten Tomatoes

• A list of 26 feel-good TV shows from Elle.

• A list of feel-good books from Goodreads

Notes to self

Write a short, kind note to yourself. Here is an example:

Dear Sage,

I love you so much! I’m so sorry you are feeling so terrible today. This is a day for rest and self-compassion. Remember, this is temporary and you are going to be okay. You are worthy of love. Your suffering is real and you are allowed to feel whatever feelings you have today.

Putting it All Together

Once you have assembled your items and ideas, it is time to make your bags. You can use any bag you like (I use brown paper lunch bags). Distribute everything evenly, or put more items in coping bags for worse days. Open your bags when the time comes and keep them with you throughout the day as a reminder that you have many resources at your disposal.

I hope this guide was helpful. Comment below what you would add to your coping bags!